The human of the species: what to do when they’re not allowed to play outside

Words by Ludo Crane (so best enjoyed using your internal scooby voice)!

It’s not often I’m allowed near the keypaw’d, but with my humans focused on other things, I’ve been told I must step-up responsibilities on the social channels. Like a good boy.

Apparently this includes the socials that I can't pee on. Strange folk.

I’ve noticed the humans aren’t leaving the house, and while that does mean more belly rubs, head scratches and doin’ the barks at talking faces on screens, they appear to have a new set of needs. So, here I am to help, and help I will give. With snuggles and kisses and licks and love. For I am dog.

Hide and sneak

We like food. A lot. Doesn’t really matter what kind of food, we will always try it. I’ve seen smaller humans turn away food with my very own big brown eyes. Foolish small humans. However, you also need some motivation so that you don’t get bored. Here is a promise to you from me. Hide our food, we will find it. Take your time, make it fun for you. You can hide it in a puzzle toy, in the house or the garden. But do know, that food will be found, and that food will not be spared.

Play with me

We will distract you with balls and toys and anything else we can find to play with. You need to have a break but sometimes you don’t know it. We will help. You may try and take our toy but you cannot have it. It is ours. And we will pull and tug and pull again until you give up. Then we will nudge to try again. We make you think you can win. But you never will.

Teaching my new trick to an old human

Psst. Want a secret? There’s so much us ‘best boys’ can do but don’t let on. We’re just waiting for you to say the right word. We may not speak human very well but we speak it better than you speak dog (but thanks for trying)! Go on, guess the word that activates our secret powers. Let us bow-wow you and make you feel good inside for discovering the secret. We will even let you give us an ear scratch as a reward.

Outdoor social networking

You all work so hard, but do remember to get some freshest of airs (once a day). We will join you just to make sure you are safe and maybe do some social networking up against that fence. If we do a whole social campaign, please pick it up for us for we do not have opposable thumbs. And wash your hands.

Licks, kisses and belly rubs

Talking of washing your hands, you and your human ways are confuddling. It’s all scrub, scrub, scrub, wash, wash, wash and talk of paper for toilets when I find a tongue will do perfectly. As always, it’s best practices to wash your hands after we play. So keep up that scrubbing and washing and brushing. Bestest safe than sorry, so we can be together, forever and ever.

Farts (I didn’t do it)

We have heard some humans say that they have no smell if they have d‘rona (read the article here). Fear not, we will do my bottom burps to keep testing your noses. How do you know if we’ve done one and you have no smell? You will tells from our guilty eyes.

Share the loves

With so many humans not going to works they may think they need to share their heart with an animal friend. Lots and lots and lots of animal friends need love right now so maybe yous can look after each others. Wood Green are wonderful humans and have lots of informations about fostering (read more here).

So, it’s quite paws-able to live and play happily during a lockdown, everyone just needs to be pup-ared and we’ll get through this together. Forever. Because we will not leave your side. Even in the bathroom.

Stay safe, thanks fur reading!

For further reading on isolating with your pets, please take 5 minutes to read what the experts at the RSPCA have to say (read the article here).